A Letter to My Son, With Love and Hope
Dearest Brodie John,
As I am sitting here, writing you this letter Brodie there are tears streaming down Mummy’s face; because it means that you grew up. They are not tears of sadness, denial or pain, but tears of happiness. They are tears that you got to grow from a little baby, into a boy and become a Man. That journey and growth is the greatest privilege you will ever have in life. I pray that you have not experienced the pain that Mummy went through as a child, and that your childhood was just that: a childhood. That it was full of love, and it wasn’t closed doors and absent fathers. I pray that you had a childhood full of happy memories and that you cherish those memories to this day.
I hope that as you sit here reading this, that Mummy and Daddy are only an e-mail away, but are also experiencing life (perhaps on a yacht in Ibiza) or embracing that it is just Mummy and Daddy at home in that big old house.
I hope that if you chose to have the blessing of children, that you could choose without bias how to raise them. That it was supported to be a stay at home father, or to be a wonderful Dad that went to work during the week. I hope that whomever you fell in love with was your choice and wasn’t a decision forced upon you by society and the inconsiderate people that make decisions for our children’s lives without understanding the impact it has.
I hope that you valued knowledge and that Education was a means of knowledge, and that as long as you had a thirst for knowledge that is what powers you through life and enables you to make sound decisions. I hope that Mummies thirst and love for reading and knowledge was translated to you through the books and learning we did, but it was applied to you in a way that enabled you to learn.
I hope that the outlets that we gave you to interact with other children and to play sport, and to go to school were ones that nourished you, and you were able to choose what path to take with guidance from your parents. I hope that you realised whatever you do in life your parents will be proud, as long as you are being kind, courteous and respectful of other people and that whatever career you choose to take in life is your choice.
We never wanted to force anything on you that we felt should be your decision, but instead to offer guidance, whether you are a cashier, an astronaut or cabaret dancer that it doesn’t matter as long as it is your choice.
We will support you, and we hope that all the hours your parents spent working to give you the life we didn’t have, was worth it and you grew to understand there were times we may not have been there but we were always home to tuck you in, read your book and kiss you goodnight.
We hope you that whatever path you choose to take in life were powered by passion and a thirst for knowledge, and not a preconceived notion of a level of education that society stressed on children. We wanted to nurture you to embark on any journey you desired, whether it was trade school, University or travelling the world with a backpack.
I know that you have had a life of everything you could ever desire, a stable home, clean clothes, a full belly and toys beyond your wildest desires and you never ever wanted for everything. And that as much as we wanted to instil in you that those things would always be there, we wanted you to understand that those privileges are not given to everybody in life.
Did Mummy instil in you values that she held dearly? That of charity and that we live in a globalised society. That the reason Mum took you to the charity events, and asked you to put together care packages at Christmas and during the year, and to ask you to give some of your pocket money to children in need was grasped. That this had an impact on you, and that whenever you are privileged or have a life that is always nurtured, that not everyone experiences this. To understand that not everyone will have the same opportunities and as decent human beings it is our love for humanity that should drive our everyday acts of kindness.
I know that you will be respectful of others regardless of skin colour, ethnicity, gender affiliation or their sex. I wanted you to understand that life isn’t always easy but that everyone deserved kindness, and equal opportunity regardless of what society may say.
I wish I could know that your beautiful Uncles got married, and had a child (if that is what they desired) and that all the pain and prejudice of today was abolished by the love and campaigning your Mother had for the LGBTQI community.
I hope you never felt lonely, and as an only child, you knew you were our greatest blessing, and we cherished you every single day because you were our miracle. Regardless of not having a sibling, I wanted your grandparents and cousins and family to be those you could speak to if you ever needed other guidance. I hope you still get excited every time Nanny calls, and whenever your Aunties and Uncles Skype. I often wondered if I would have to explain that Mummies daddy, may not have been her biological father, but you loved and cherished your Poppy just as Mum did, because family is not always blood, but the people who love and raise you.
I hope that whenever there was conflict or disagreements, that we found a way to understand each other and we never went to bed angry. That conflict was understood as a part of life, but not a normality of everyday. I want to know that we always found a way to forgive, and move on and find inner peace and happiness within ourselves and our relationship.
All we wanted to do was give you the values that could underpin your life, that of respect, charity and resilience.
I hope that you felt that all of these values were special enough to carry on into the rest of your life.
Whatever you choose we promise we are happy, because we never wanted to force a life upon you. Because yes, we raised you, but one day that life becomes yours to live and you need to deal with the everyday.
With all my love,
Mummy, Mum and MUMMMMM!